Christian said, “I am a man on my way from the City of Destruction towards Heaven. I was told that if I visited Interpreter’s House, I would be shown excellent things needful for my journey of faith.” (From John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress)
Reading Psalms Through Eyes of Depression: Psalm 13
Our circumstances may not be exactly like that of the writers of the Psalms but are often close enough for us to glean many helpful insights. Often the Psalms reflect a lost-ness and darkness that resulted from external persecution. Enemies were out to hurt David. David was under attack sometimes for no apparent reason except that those who were his enemies and God’s adversaries were bent on destroying him. In life, we are both sinner and sinned against; we are both culprit and victim. Isaiah expressed his own sinfulness in this dual way--Then I said, “It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.” Depressed individuals often feel lonely or at the very least alienated from God and from others. They are often hard on the relationships in their lives. Well-meaning people offer help that often only makes matters worse. Depression is hard for someone who has never been there to understand. So there is a built-in alienation to being depressed. “I feel this way and no one can really understand what I feel” is a common way depressed people think.” So we do not have to be very creative in applying the antagonism that is felt in the Psalms from enemies. In depression, our friends sometimes seem like enemies, especially in the flippant ways they suggest we get over our depression. So feeling under attack is something a depressed person can identify with.
The feeling of being attacked or abandoned is most pronounced in depression when it comes to our relationship to God. David expresses it in Psalm 13:1-2:
1 O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
Notice that David not only feels attacked by others, but also abandoned by God. He expresses his feelings as being with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? He also expressed that there are people out to get him-- How long will my enemy have the upper hand? David longs for renewal. He prays--3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. David longs for God to hear and answer. Let’s not lose the fact that this complaint is voiced with faith. Even in the darkness of depression, David knows that God will provide an answer. This is a desperate plea. David knows that something has to change. Or he will die. Depression can result in suicide, but there is more often in depression a longing for death that does not include the notion of suicide. Death would be relief from the persistent gloom that hangs heavy upon the depressed. So thoughts of death often accompany depression. David instead wants a sparkle in his eye that has been absent for too long. He longs in faith for God to put that sparkle back into his eyes. David awaits a renewal with a hope and faith that is fixed upon a God Who can deliver what is needed.
David then surprises us with the last words of this short Psalm--
5 But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
6 I will sing to the Lord
because he is good to me.
We see this often in the prayers and praises of the Psalms. Complaint gives way to confession about the goodness of God; desperate pleas yield to vibrant praise. David moves seamless from expressing his pervasive darkness to exclaiming clear and articulate hope and praise. Has David’s situation change? I seriously doubt that. What had changed was David’s perception of situation. He sees glimmers of hope, a little light that causes him to rejoice in the dark night of his soul. If there is any light that can make a difference, it is God’s light. David trusts in the unfailing love of God. He rejoices in the rescue that God has or will provide. He sings because God has been and is good.
How do you get from “how long?” to “I trust”? The path is best paved with Psalms that teach us to pray in ways that express our doubts but are filled with faithful longings for a God, Who is faithful because of His steadfast love.
Reading Psalms Through Eyes of Depression: Psalm 13
Our circumstances may not be exactly like that of the writers of the Psalms but are often close enough for us to glean many helpful insights. Often the Psalms reflect a lost-ness and darkness that resulted from external persecution. Enemies were out to hurt David. David was under attack sometimes for no apparent reason except that those who were his enemies and God’s adversaries were bent on destroying him. In life, we are both sinner and sinned against; we are both culprit and victim. Isaiah expressed his own sinfulness in this dual way--Then I said, “It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.” Depressed individuals often feel lonely or at the very least alienated from God and from others. They are often hard on the relationships in their lives. Well-meaning people offer help that often only makes matters worse. Depression is hard for someone who has never been there to understand. So there is a built-in alienation to being depressed. “I feel this way and no one can really understand what I feel” is a common way depressed people think.” So we do not have to be very creative in applying the antagonism that is felt in the Psalms from enemies. In depression, our friends sometimes seem like enemies, especially in the flippant ways they suggest we get over our depression. So feeling under attack is something a depressed person can identify with.
The feeling of being attacked or abandoned is most pronounced in depression when it comes to our relationship to God. David expresses it in Psalm 13:1-2:
1 O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
Notice that David not only feels attacked by others, but also abandoned by God. He expresses his feelings as being with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? He also expressed that there are people out to get him-- How long will my enemy have the upper hand? David longs for renewal. He prays--3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. David longs for God to hear and answer. Let’s not lose the fact that this complaint is voiced with faith. Even in the darkness of depression, David knows that God will provide an answer. This is a desperate plea. David knows that something has to change. Or he will die. Depression can result in suicide, but there is more often in depression a longing for death that does not include the notion of suicide. Death would be relief from the persistent gloom that hangs heavy upon the depressed. So thoughts of death often accompany depression. David instead wants a sparkle in his eye that has been absent for too long. He longs in faith for God to put that sparkle back into his eyes. David awaits a renewal with a hope and faith that is fixed upon a God Who can deliver what is needed.
David then surprises us with the last words of this short Psalm--
5 But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
6 I will sing to the Lord
because he is good to me.
We see this often in the prayers and praises of the Psalms. Complaint gives way to confession about the goodness of God; desperate pleas yield to vibrant praise. David moves seamless from expressing his pervasive darkness to exclaiming clear and articulate hope and praise. Has David’s situation change? I seriously doubt that. What had changed was David’s perception of situation. He sees glimmers of hope, a little light that causes him to rejoice in the dark night of his soul. If there is any light that can make a difference, it is God’s light. David trusts in the unfailing love of God. He rejoices in the rescue that God has or will provide. He sings because God has been and is good.
How do you get from “how long?” to “I trust”? The path is best paved with Psalms that teach us to pray in ways that express our doubts but are filled with faithful longings for a God, Who is faithful because of His steadfast love.